The Meaning of Family. (Paige Hilton)

10/14/2019

In the modern world we see that every little detail of life is picking up pace. It has become exceedingly common to see the average American rushing, trying to get to their next meeting, their next sporting event, their next class, never stopping, only scheduling and going. With this we see that very few individuals come together as families anymore. Hardly anyone sits down with their family every night and eats a home cooked meal.
There are many causes to this ongoing phenomenon. Such as a busy schedule, differing views, and simply, not having a desire to be with one’s family. The problem that comes with this is the distance we feel from our families and the easily provoked confrontation. The only way this can be fixed starts with a personal desire to fix the problem.
The definition of “family” found in the 1950’s has drastically changed from what we see today. There are no set rules of, ‘mother in the home and father at work’. Today, the word “family” comes with various meanings and views. When “family” is spoken, not everyone pictures a loving mother and father who asks about their day when they return home. Some picture pain and sorrow when they think of family. Others only have partial families. Regardless of circumstance, it is important to strengthen the relationships that one currently has and make the most out of their own family.
We have been placed in a time where change is inevitable. With this change we find and are told that there is no room for family, no time for sibling relationships, only time for our schedules and our lives. We have the choice to follow the ways of the world and worry about our own selves, or, try and strengthen relationships within our family.
With this lies questions: does “family” have a different meaning from past times? What roles do a mother and father carry in today’s world? What is the purpose of family? How can we be better and strengthen the relationships we currently have? What do you think of when you hear the word “family”?

36 Comments

Kately

10/15/2019 01:42:46 pm

Family is typically one's blood relatives, and in an ideal setting, blood-related people tend to be really close. For some, this sometimes is not the case. At the end of the day, "Family" is the people you can go home to and lean on. Blood means nothing if there's no care and support. Families are looking more and more diverse, nothing can be done about that. What's important is that you find a stable support group or maintain the relationships you already have.

Tori Weir

10/20/2019 02:59:24 pm

I do not think blood-related people have a tendency to be closer together as a family than any other people coming together and making one. It may be in the past but now it is different and the meaning of family has changed. How can we strengthen our relationships with out family members?

Kately

10/20/2019 05:01:50 pm

I believe the best way to strengthen our relationship with our family members is to let them know you will be there for them, and that you care about them. People will usually have different ways to express that, usually through their words or their actions.

Paige

10/20/2019 06:24:22 pm

I also find it important to find a stable support group. Do you only see "family" as blood-related individuals?

Aiden

10/18/2019 08:14:15 pm

The family has indisputably changed, and has changed immensely in a short amount of time. Gone are the days of the nuclear family. Our whole culture regarding families has been redefined. Though I believe a lot of these changes are detrimental to new generations, some are positive.

At a glance, you may say the divorce rate is the lowest its been since the sixties, but we need to take into account the amount of people that don't marry but have children. This makes it much easier for people, men especially, inside the relationship to leave their girlfriend and new child. This leaves the child with a generally unstable upcoming. They need parents who love them and nurture them.

The roles of parents have changed significantly as well. With a college education more accessible than it has ever been, more and more women have entered the workforce. This is not a bad thing by any means. It does however mean that less children are being born as women pursue their careers. With less mothers, families are becoming smaller.

The purpose of family is to have parents that lovingly care for and teach their children things they feel as important. It gives the child a stable environment in which to grow and people to lean on. A family should support one another and lift each other up. We should be able to rely heavily on our family to help us and in turn help them.

Ezra

10/20/2019 04:35:13 pm

Parents roles in family life definitely have changed from the past. With education being a priority in life now people seem to lack the want to start a family.

Brax Kauffman

10/20/2019 05:46:43 pm

I will say that I agree that the roles are changing and that it is not a bad thing. However, I don’t think families are becoming smaller. The earth’s population is still continuing to increase at a massive rate. Did you mean that as a positive or negative outcome?

Alyssa Farnworth

10/20/2019 08:20:28 pm

Not to say that it is okay for one parent to walk out on the other and their child, but just because one is in a single parent family doesn't mean that they come from an unstable home. I also don't feel that women are having less children because they are working but because they just don't want to have them. In the past a woman was basically told they had to have children nowadays it is more socially acceptable not to, so women don't feel an extreme societal pressure to do so. Also do you feel that friends can be family? or that you have familial obligation to those that are blood related to you?

Erykah

10/19/2019 07:14:15 pm

The look of a typical family has changed in the past 50 years. Today, not every person would imagine a mother, father, and some children. With the increase in divorce rates, some would think that separated parents as normal. According to National Affairs, “the divorce rate [in America from 1960 to 1980] more than doubled [which means] that while less than 20% of couples who married in 1950 ended up divorced, about 50% of couples who married in 1970 did.” Others would envision a family with a working mother and a stay-at-home dad, which is more common than 50 years ago. In some families, children are sent to daycare daily, allowing their parent(s) to work.

In this day and age, same-sex parents are becoming more prevalent. Lifelong Adoptions states, “Over the years, the number of children living with LGBT parents has risen tremendously. [...] Of the 594,000 same-sex couple households in the United States, 115,000 have children.” Many of these children are adopted and live in loving households rather than living in orphanages where they do not receive the close connection parents give.

Ultimately, a family should be people who unconditionally love and care about you, no matter what that looks like.

https://www.nationalaffairs.com/publications/detail/the-evolution-of-divorce
https://www.lifelongadoptions.com/lgbt-adoption/lgbt-adoption-statistics

Andy Gebhardt

10/20/2019 04:08:28 pm

Your point about how everyone’s view is different is true. I think a lot of the views we have on family come from the way we are brought up. It is hard to know wha someone else’s family is like if you have not been in it.

Sabrina

10/20/2019 04:26:10 pm

Our families should definitely be the people that love and care about us, but does that unit usually involve parents? It seems like people that don't have good relationships with their birth parents try and find that feeling elsewhere. Could families always involve parents?

Erykah

10/20/2019 05:21:00 pm

For me, I know many people who are not related to me and love me unconditionally, and I would definitely call them my family, which is why I kept my definition of family broad. I also have a few friends who would not call their parents family by my definition but have other relatives or friends that they could turn to for support.

Kately

10/20/2019 05:07:59 pm

I agree, family is a group that unconditionally supports each other. Families with two moms or two dads may seem unbalanced to some who look from the outside, but to the child it seems perfectly normal. It's just their family. Parents will do their best to provide for their children, often going the extra mile to make up for the things they lack.

Ezra

10/20/2019 12:29:22 pm

Family has many different meanings. 50 years ago family most likely meant a working father, a stay at home mother, and two children. It was the way everyone thought it should be and nobody had a problem with it. Moms would stay home and do chores all day while Dads went out and made money for the family. However, today it is a very different story.

Men and Women are equal and have the same value. Today men and women both provide for their family. Family does not only deal with who provides what, or who works and who stays home. Family is about love. Family is about who loves you and who cares for you no matter how you act or feel. We often have people who are not our blood care for us and want the best for us, and I think that those people are also family.

I think that if everyone forgets about what life was like, and focuses on how life is now we will make stronger relationships. Being together in the now with friends who are close enough to be family and actual family. Will make our connections to each other stronger in the long run.

Faith

10/20/2019 01:32:29 pm

I also agree that the definition of family now is more about love than “a working father, and a stay at home mother”. Today, it’s more likely that both the mother and father are making money, and come home to do house work and make dinner, together.

Aiden

10/20/2019 04:17:09 pm

I agree that is more about love than actual structure of the family, but I also think that the structure we had in the past had a lot of strength as well. I think that though women are strong and capable in the workforce they are better suited to nurture their children and keep the home working smoothly.

Paige

10/20/2019 06:30:11 pm

I'm glad that you included how family is about love. I feel that is something that is commonly forgotten. When we think of family, we think of those we are related to. In today's world, blood relatives are not always family. Family are those that you love and who love you, just like you said, and that comes in many forms.

Alyssa Farnworth

10/20/2019 08:25:21 pm

Your statements about not comparing relationships now with what once was is completely accurate. I had not thought about thinking continuously about the past effecting how we are in our families now. Personally, I do believe that this is a large detriment to our families now.

Madicyn

10/20/2019 01:23:44 pm

Every family is different, and that is what makes the idea of family so beautiful. When I think of my family, I think of my mother, my sisters, and I. Everyone has a different image when they think of their families. Some may think of their regular siblings, mom, and dad, some may see just their parents, and others see friends or people that aren't related to them legally at all. I think relationships with family members are very important. I am close with both my siblings and my mom. Although with other members I am not. Just because someone is blood related does not mean it is necessary for them to have a great relationship with someone who doesn't deserve or care for one. This also leads to the idea of respect. I don't believe that one is given respect just because they are your father or mother or any other position that assumes they do. Respect is earned, not given.

Faith

10/20/2019 01:34:42 pm

I like your idea that respect is earned, not just given. I have gone through many different experiences that led me to lose respect for a family member, while I was only told to respect them because of their initial position in the family.

Sabrina

10/20/2019 04:13:13 pm

To add to your comment about respect, I think that true mothers and true fathers are the figures in your life that have earned that respect that you would give a loving parent. These people are those that are your true family.

Faith

10/20/2019 01:57:27 pm

Family has most definitely redefined itself in today’s day. The typical stereotype that men work to get money, women work to get the house clean and take care of the children, are over. Today, both men and women work to support their families. They work together to support and love their families. After long days of work, parents can come home to their kids and make dinner for the entire family together. This to me, is what family should really mean. Working together. Which makes any relationship within a family closer.

Family has been defined very differently throughout the past few years for me. I grew up with an absence of a relationship between a parent and I. I was very close to my sister, before she had moved away. But as time went on from when I was a toddler to now, I lost knowing what family dinners felt like, holidays, and genuine time spent with one another. My family only continued to break apart and become more individual. This taught me a lot of important lessons, and redefined how I think of family. It wasn’t just who was related to me by blood anymore, it was who was there for me when I needed them the most no matter the cause, who loved and cared for me unconditionally, and who made me feel most at home. Home for me is much more than a house, but a feeling. Home is built on the structure of love, and warmed by the love of a person. That to me, is what family is defined as.

Tori Weir

10/20/2019 02:51:46 pm

Having a family based off of the feeling of love is important to me as well. It would not be the same if there was no feeling of security and warmth. Especially with siblings, I believe having siblings brings another sense of being a part of a family.

Ezra

10/20/2019 04:37:47 pm

I feel that sibling connections are much stronger than parental connections. They understand because they were the same age as you but more recent then your parents were. So their understanding is greater.

Madicyn

10/20/2019 05:52:16 pm

It’s been very interesting for me to watch and recognize how my relationships fluctuate throughout my life. After my parents divorced and my father moved away, my mother and my sisters got very close pretty quickly. A few years later my older sister and I hated each other it seemed like because of the situation we were going through at the moment. Other years and through different hardships my relationships with my family members have changed and altered, but in the end my sisters and I always know we can count on each other when we need it.

Tori Weir

10/20/2019 02:44:17 pm

When people think of traditional family people automatically thinks of the loving mother and father and their children. The mother stays at home and takes care of the children while the father works. In many cases, people think that but now, it is completely different, both parents can go to work and come home to spend time with the children. Today, there are a variety of different family units and children are also often raised in single-parent homes or by grandparents. Some families choose not to have children due to that they do not want to or cannot have any. People also include their dogs, cats, or any other pets as part of their family as well as their friends. For example, if someone lost their close family they can create a family unit of friends with similar interests and goals. For pets, the responsibility of taking care of them can be seen as their children.
The idea of having parents and children is has changed but the relationship with family members stays the same. Having a strong bond full of love, trust, and knowing that they can rely on them is what a family should be based off. To strengthen the relationship communication is important and spending time with the whole family is good. People can have multiple families and sometimes they can be chosen. Whether made of blood relatives, friends, pets, or a combination of these, being a part of a family that can offer them the support to thrive matters most.

Andy Gebhardt

10/20/2019 04:10:30 pm

I never thought about pets being considered family until you said that. I definitely consider my pets part of the family though. Do you think it is different for people without kids? Are different animals considered part of the family or not?

Madicyn

10/20/2019 05:54:34 pm

The definition of family is different to everyone. Personally, I count all my animals as a part of my family because I love them very much. I also have people who are not blood related who have been around as long as I can remember that I count as a part of my family.
We recently lost our dog that we had had for nine years. It genuinely felt like losing a family member, with a sadness not longing as ling.

Andy Gebhardt

10/20/2019 04:06:43 pm

Family has changed in the past few years and there is a lot that has made it change. One big issue I believe is technology. Families no longer want to worry about relationships with each other when they can see what the world is doing or watching something on TV. Whether it is a family with two parents, a family with one, or a guardian situation, many families simply do not take the time to eat together or even do things together.
I believe earlier in children’s lives they are much closer with their families. This is because they rely on their parents for certain needs and therefore must interact with them. However, as kids grow older those needs decrease and a teenager can get much more independent and not communicate with their family as much.
As far as the role of a father and a mother. It is generally the father that is the one who supports the family and the mother who has more time with the children. A change has come to this idea as well. Often both parents work to make a linking or sometimes it is the mother that works. In the home there has been change because both the mother and father assume a lot of responsibilities from around the house.
The ways to strengthen a family are exactly what they used to be. Take time with your family and eat meals together. Meals are important like in Foster’s chapter about communion. This also gives time to talk with your family and find out how they are doing. My family has always had meals together. We do not always get to because of busy schedules but that is the goal on most nights of the week. I think it has helped our relationship and also we are close because we have moved a lot and have had to rely on each other. Also, when you spend so much time driving across the US when moving, you have to get used to your family.

Erykah

10/20/2019 08:20:53 pm

I think technology, if used wisely, is a way to bring families together. For example, my family and I like to watch movies or play video games together to spend time with one another. However, there are situations where technology, like social media, distracts people from quality family time.

Sabrina

10/20/2019 04:10:34 pm

The family image has changed drastically. The current idea of family is so undefined and controversial, which is a rather new concept. When I think of a family, I think of a mother and a father rearing however many children they have with love and control. I think this is the most effective way to raise children and will raise my children in this environment. Parents don't make children to send them off to get raised by someone else. Stay home and take care of the human being you created.
I think that the idea of a stay at home mom and a supporting dad is extremely underrated. There is a reason that it's been that way for hundreds of years. A religious background helps this mindset seeing as that is the way the heavenly family is structured, a Heavenly Father, Heavenly Mother, and children. I know that this isn't always possible, or sexual attraction alters this and so families can be structured very different. However, the family you live with and are raised with will be your family for life. There is a bond made in that situation that won't usually be broken (Unless there is abuse or relationship issues for other reasons). These relationships are no longer fostered and therefore weaker. Most of the people I've known in my life, mostly teens, have been eager to admit that they don't like their family. For a while I didn't like my family because others didn't and I saw it as cool. The idea of friends before family has become very popular. Loving your family is a choice that many don't see as worth it families are more and more broken.

Aiden

10/20/2019 04:24:01 pm

I liked your point about people not liking their families. It is more important to create and keep strong family bonds. More so than with friends in my opinion.

Brax Kauffman

10/20/2019 05:49:56 pm

In the cases you have seen that teenagers admiring they don’t like there family, do they say the reason for not liking them? Do you think that they actually don’t like there family or that they may have simply been upset with them for a period of time?

Brax Kauffman

10/20/2019 05:44:18 pm

When I think of family, obviously your close blood relatives come to mind but also the people in your life that are extremely close to you no matter the genetic connection. When people say that families are changing and that it is going in a negative or positive direction I think that is entirely wrong. There have always been differences on what people think of as family and like everything else in life, the idea changes with the culture. Now talking about the roles that family members play in our current society. Yes it is different from the standard mother and father roles but that is because of the change around our society. Either parent can have a successful career and either one can be critical in raising their children. Or even have the parents do both.
Saying that families are becoming less connected than in the past can be argued either way. However there are still plenty of ways that families can enjoy each other’s company while still moving along with technological progression. While my family will still eat together, go hangout in random places, or play board games every now and again, there are smaller ways to connect as well. One of the things that gets bashed for ruining family time is a television or any technology in that area. While this can have a negative affect it could still add another aspect for your family to bond over. Whether it is taking about a show or arguing over sports there are always ways to make anything into a family event and it just depends on the people involved. So while yes families have changed over time that has always been the case. Families now are different from 100 years ago which were different 100 years before that. There will always be change and a persons point of view is the only factor that can say if it’s negative or positive.

Erykah

10/20/2019 07:35:47 pm

I think technology plays an important role for families in our generation, too. Without cell phones and social media, it would be much more difficult for family members to keep in touch. A simple post on Facebook can tell all your friends, aunts, uncles, cousins, parents, and sometimes even grandparents what you are doing.

Alyssa Farnworth

10/20/2019 08:08:27 pm

When thinking about family, I think about my parents and siblings. However, I believe that every family is different and does not depend upon who is blood related. If someone is related to you by blood but are extremely detrimental to you and the people you care about, there is nothing wrong with cutting out the toxicity or just not interacting with them as much. The same can be said for non-blood related members of your family. If you love them and they you and you consider them family, they are family. Family in the past may have had a definition: working dad, stay at home mom, and two or more children. Today it is just love. Family's definition is changing with our culture. What was defined fifty years ago is different to us now and in the next fifty years it will probably change again.
I don't believe that technology is entirely to blame for the issue of families losing their connection. I think it has more to do with not taking time for one another. No matter what a family is doing such as watching a movie, eating dinner, playing games, etc. it could be a bonding experience. Everything really depends on the point of view one chooses to take, if someone chooses to make it positive or negative it's going to be that way.

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