Dealing with Disappointment (Brylee)

3/3/2025

How do you guys deal with disappointment? I recently went to State wrestling to compete and I didn't do so great. This crushed me because of the sheer amount of time I have invested into it. I am not left with a feeling that I can't really name other than disappointment in myself. I feel like I didn't push myself hard enough and that I could've done better, that I should have done better. I'm also wondering what all that time has been worth now that I have nothing to really show for it. Nothing to prove for that dedication. Personally, I'm not sure how to deal with the feeling of disappointment, I'm lost. I normally just put it behind me and move on, "leaving it all on the mat", but now I truly have left it all on the mat and I'm not sure if I want to forget it, because this has been my last shot and I don't want it to be, I don't want it to end.

20 Comments

Kennedi

3/3/2025 09:11:57 am

Disappointment is a tough matter that doesn’t necessarily leave you angry or sad, but somewhere in between. Sports seem to be a thing that we disappoint ourselves in, hoping that we would’ve done better. Then theres also a parents disappointment in their kid(s) when poor choices are made, resulting in the kids being disappointed in themselves as well. I don’t handle disappointment well, usually not able to eat or distance myself from people. It’s not a healthy method, but that is what I seem to turn to. After crying I’m usually fine, lmao.

Megan Aiello

3/3/2025 09:18:41 am

I relate to this as well, I think parents pay a huge role in what the child perceives their work and how they process and make of it. I also tend to go into an emotional state when faced with disappointment.

Emylee Perkins

3/3/2025 09:21:41 am

I relate when you say that you start to distance yourself from other people when you’re really upset. I tend to do the same thing, which honestly sucks because I know that it can be harder for some people to reach out if you seem unapproachable. I feel like it can be a vicious cycle.

Daniel Davidson

3/3/2025 01:30:30 pm

Emylee, this is such a valid point. Oftentimes, especially when it comes to our emotional perception of social situations, we can end up in self-fulfilling prophesies. For example, we can think, "what I said was weird, now this person is going to think I'm weird," then we act weird trying not to act weird, and its all weird, and then they definitely think we're weird. That's a epistriphal and specialized example, but the principle is definitely true in many contexts.

Deanda Lamping

3/3/2025 11:37:47 am

The way you explained this is so clear for me to connect with. Unhealthy methods usually outshine the better ones and I cannot agree more with the not eating and distancing part of things. It becomes hard to feel anything other than that hurt of the disappointment.

Brylee Ganske

3/10/2025 08:33:17 am

Same I feel like I lose my appetite for all things.

Emylee Perkins

3/3/2025 09:14:28 am

I am sorry for what happened, Brylee. I don’t know if it comes as any consolation, but even making it to state means that you’re better than probably 90% of other wrestlers in Idaho and who knows how many other states. You’re also the best wrestler of your size in Salmon and that’s definitely something to show for! Unfortunately when I am disappointed I tend to dwell on it, so I start to do anything I possibly can to prevent it, which can be really harmful to your own and others. I try to always remember the people who love me and I honestly watch a lot of television and imagine the life I do want for myself, which kind of sounds stupid but it’s very fun and comforting for me.

Chanci Phillips

3/3/2025 09:25:27 am

I also try to distract myself from the things that trouble me and make me sad. If I don’t think about it, it’s not real and can’t hurt me. In the end, the problems I ran away from will have to be faced and dealt with to truly heal and move on.

nic S

3/3/2025 09:27:23 am

I agree that I like to do something else I love to take my mind off it and bounce back to normalness.

Deanda Lamping

3/3/2025 11:34:31 am

It's not stupid and I really understand your view of things. I also dwell so I tend to burry myself in anything else to cope. It is comforting and also a self preservation thing.

Daniel Davidson

3/3/2025 01:32:53 pm

Yes, I do this too. And, I think, to a certain extent it can be healthy, and taken too far it can be worrisome. Distraction from negative emotions can be healthy if it is deliberate, measured, and beneficial to one's morale. But, compulsively avoiding painful truths can also end up hurting oneself in the long run.

Megan Aiello

3/3/2025 09:15:39 am

I think that this is a very relatable topic, I felt disappointed when I have to take tests or even during senior project as well when I thought I did very well but my given grade was not was I was hoping for, especially when others were able to achieve a higher grade, making me feel like I could have done better but tried the best I could.

Chanci Phillips

3/3/2025 09:20:41 am

Senior project was very difficult because of all the work and pressure put of the seniors to pass this class. The most frustrating part was seeing others getting higher grades than you, when you know they didn’t even put a fraction of the work you did.

nicolas sessions

3/3/2025 09:25:42 am

I get that I was not totally satisfied with my grade either but I am now just glad it is over.

Emylee Perkins

3/3/2025 09:26:17 am

Senior project is such a relatable struggle. I feel like lots of people were really disappointed that they worked for months and then had points taken away for minimal errors. I was especially frustrated when I had to reprint all of my materials multiple times, because I always thought it was done and I felt that my work was accidentally redundant.

Chanci Phillips

3/3/2025 09:17:42 am

I have felt similar in my sports as well. When the game didn’t go the way I wanted or the season. I started playing hockey in middle school, so it was never my sport it was my brother’s, and when it ended, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. I hardly think about this season, instead I try to think of my happier memories of hockey to get over the sadness. I was more prepared for hockey to end than track, so when track is finally over, I am unsure how I will feel about my last year of sports.

Megan Aiello

3/3/2025 09:22:21 am

I think reflecting good memories is a good way to deal with the emotions of ending hockey rather then the season itself. Maybe when track is over, the memories of senior year will make you feel proud about it.

nicolas sessions

3/3/2025 09:24:47 am

I understand this, and have a similar experience from last week. I did not do a great job in the my latest performance in the play and was really disappointed in myself for choking so bad. I found that allowing myself to feel the disappointment but then to dissociate from it is a good way to cope because lingering on it forever will not help. You have to move past it and find joy now.

Deanda Lamping

3/3/2025 11:30:04 am

I'm going to come right out and say it, disappointment sucks. Especially after everything we put ourselves through. I understand exactly what you mean. Don't be too hard on yourself Brylee, the years you spent on the sport matter because of the success and memories you made along the way. Sometimes taking a breather and doing something that cheers you up helps. Often times we may not think we deserve that distraction but we do. If we dwell on the past we lose ourselves in the present. But it's all easier said than done. Something that helps me is watching good movies or reading books. Somethings to take my mind off of the matter and into something that makes me happy.

Daniel Davidson

3/3/2025 01:36:38 pm

Yeah, I've felt my fair share of disappointment. And the only semi-solution I've discovered is, once I've assessed all the good and bad there is to be found in the scenario, move on. Get outta there, so that the painful memories cannot hurt me anymore. It's tough and its tricky. Especially, because the disappointments I feel are almost always results of things I KNOW I could have done better. And I cannot conceive why I would have let myself or others down that way. I guess we just have to learn what lessons we can from those times. Meta cognate. Commit to change. Than actually do it, changing our ways and our attitudes, so that when a similar challenge arises in the future, we'll rise to the call, and, hopefully, succeed with excellence.

Dealing with Disappointment (Brylee)

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