Penny for your Thoughts?

3/18/2022

Boaz Oswald- 3-18-22 There are many things that are happening in the world. But I want to focus on the many things happening in *your* world. I want this post to be more open than usual. I really enjoy the opportunity to put words to my emotions so that is what I aim to do here. So what has recently been paying rent in your brain? What do you think about? I would encourage you to respond with something that makes you feel scared, mad, sad, helpless, frustrated, uncertain, etc. But also respond with something that makes you feel the opposite of the first. So two things, the first something negative, the second, the exact opposite of the negative emotion. That or you can just go on a rant about something that is bugging you.

I'll post my thoughts later but I just wanted to get the prompt out to you guys, sorry it is a little late.

42 Comments

Micah Tolman

3/19/2022 02:17:54 pm

My brain has been all over the place recently, so I am glad you chose this topic, Boaz, to give me a moment of honest reflection. Right now golf is starting, the play is still going, I am in the process of filling out mission paperwork, planning vacation essentials, preparing for graduation stuff, and trying to maintain a full work schedule on the weekends. As one may conclude from this extensive list, I enjoy filling my days with productive activities. Yet, a negative side of this habit is that when I am not doing something “worth my time”, such as relaxation, I can get a bit ornery. Also, the stress of this much exertion could be potentially dangerous for my health, but we may find out in 60 years or so from now.

Lizzie Nelson

3/20/2022 01:01:36 pm

It is crazy how much we have going on in our lives that we are trying to juggle. That's why it is so important to sometimes just relax and take some time to yourself. However, we can't always be on break, we have to be productive and get stuff done.

Dakota James

3/20/2022 01:52:52 pm

I struggle with the same feeling as you do of "wasting time" when I try to spend some well deserved time relaxing. I believe this is part of our nature at our current age because we are so busy and constantly thinking about what is next. I can relate to your heavy workload as I am sure most of us seniors can right now.

Boaz

3/19/2022 02:45:47 pm

I have been thinking about why people value “intelligence.” I can see that in the past it was valuable because those who are intelligent made the lives of the living better. But I don’t think that lives are getting better because of invention anymore. Maybe that is just the perspective of a fortunate American but I don’t need my life to be more comfortable. I don’t even know if I want my life to be longer. The fact that it will, though, does matter. It makes me mad, borderline furious, whenever someone says that I am smart. Congratulates me on knowing numbers. It shouldn’t matter to you. I won’t make your life better because I know things. It seems like everything that society values is opposite of what it should be.

For me it is always harder to see something that is positive. But I really love my family. They help me so much and have made such a safe place for me. They have supported me all my life and have encouraged me to find my own meaning. We share a trust that is incredible to me. They are such great examples to me. I love them

Jonah

3/19/2022 04:06:19 pm

Noted, I will stop calling you smart🤣But, I do agree with you in that I do not want my life to be longer. As far as I am concerned, life was better back when we farmed with horses and plows and had to go down to the creek with a bucket for water. Oh well, I guess.

Micah Tolman

3/19/2022 04:06:41 pm

When we focus on the good, we are granted with more happiness. In a sense, are you trying to say you focus a lot on the negative because there is always stuff to improve and you want to improve? Also, I do think intelligence is valued because it allows one to bless the lives of their fellow humans.

Lizzie Nelson

3/20/2022 01:05:47 pm

I think that intelligence can be good depending on how it is used. I do see that some of the technology in specific that we are using has made our generation lazy and simply unmotivated. We need to take time away from all of this and enjoy some of the simple things that make us happy like being with our families or spending time outside.

Robyn Chaffin

3/20/2022 05:04:45 pm

I have always thought that the fight to be the most intelligent was absurd. High school always made it seem like you have to be smart in order to become someone important. Fighting for the highest gpa or to become valedictorian never made sense to me. People with a 4.0 gpa are going to go to the same college as someone with a 2.0 gpa. The gpa doesn’t decide who is smarter, but it is funny to me that someone who tried so hard to excel in high school ended up at the same place as someone who got bad grades high school. Even tests like the ACT or SAT made me laugh because those tests don’t tell how smart a person is. Some people are really bad tests takers while others are really great. In twenty years no one is going to remember who was top of their class except for the person that was top of their class. Those tests scores aren’t going to matter, what people have become is what will matter. A kid that dropped out sophomore year could become more successful and happy with their life than the “smart” kid ever will.

Lizzie Nelson

3/20/2022 12:54:45 pm

Well to say the last while has been stressful is an understatement. I am having to deal with school, track, making huge life decisions about my future like where I am going to college or how will I pay for all of it, as well as trying to still have a social life and spend time with my family. I think that this causes a lot of stress which makes me irritable and often extremely moody so then I sometimes lash out at people or make poor decisions. This weekend I accepted my offer to attend BYU Provo in the Fall and I just signed on an apartment. This is a extremely scary feeling because I will be leaving for college in August and then I'll be on my own for the most part in Utah. However, I am excited for the new experiences I will get to have and the opportunity I will have to be on my own. When I feel stressed I often have to take a step back and go do something fun. I like to spend time with friends and family or simply just people who care about me and put in the effort to be with me. However, sometimes if I am putting stuff off it makes me feel stressed which is a negative feeling for me. I think I just need to learn to be patient with myself and enjoy the ride not worry so much about the future, just be in the moment.

Dakota James

3/20/2022 01:57:20 pm

It is interesting how as much as most of us have dreamed of having that freedom of being out on our own are now second guessing the thrill of it. I am caught in a similar situation. Typically, I find my thoughts wandering about what it will be like to live on my own and have responsibility over everything. However, I am still excited for college, as you are, and the new chapter in my life.

Adyson

3/20/2022 05:51:13 pm

I too am experiencing the scariness of moving to a new state for college and being away from friends and family. Sometimes I wish that I had a crystal ball and could look into the future so I wouldn’t be so scared.

Kendra

3/20/2022 06:28:56 pm

I really liked what you said about taking time for ourselves to calm down. It is so important to have a good cry sometimes or just take a nap. We keep filling up our schedules with so much stuff and sometimes we need to have a break.

Dakota James

3/20/2022 02:04:42 pm

One of my biggest thoughts lately, as we near graduation, is how far we have come and everything that has occurred throughout high school. Then I think about how going to college this coming fall is almost like a reset. As fast as these past four years of high school have felt, it is hard to imagine another four year of schooling in college. However, when I think positively about it, I remember that I am just one step closer to having my dream job and the life that I have always wished for. It seems that most of us can relate to the nostalgia of growing up and it is hard to fathom that we are becoming adults and advancing into real life. Maybe growing up isn't everything it seemed like it would be. Lastly, despite all the stress we are experiencing right now, this is one of the best times of our lives and one day we'll reflect on it. I want to look back and say that I enjoyed my life as a youth. How about you?

Hailey

3/20/2022 02:38:51 pm

It is such a common thing to be absorbed with the thought of the future. From the time kids are old enough to construct dreams, they yearn to grow up; to fast forward to a time where they imagine all will be great and fun. However, looking back on childhood, adolescence, and high school in general, I wish that I would have been more satisfied with the present, rather than longing for the next big thing. I am definitely getting nostalgic as graduation approaches.

Robyn Chaffin

3/20/2022 04:49:50 pm

Thinking about getting out of school just to go to another one is a little discouraging at times. Especially if your dream job is an eight year program. My dad went back to college when he was in his late 30s and he is now a dentist living in a home he loves with his family. He always reminds me that no matter what you do, “those years are going to pass by and you can either spend them meeting new people, going to college or trade school or somewhere making something of yourself. Or you can spend them with friends and family doing odd jobs to make money. Both good choices, but those four years are still going to pass by so spend them doing something that is going to make yourself happy and proud.”

Carson Mildon

3/20/2022 06:41:32 pm

I always hear older people say, "these are the most exciting years of your life," and I never quite understood why they would tell me that. However, these past couple of months have helped me realize how much change goes on in our teenage years. As you mentioned, most of us will be going to college in a few months, and my whole life, I have grown up within a 20-minute drive from you, and soon, it will be seven or eight hours. It seems like just last week we were having airsoft wars in your ravine, and now we realize just how fast it all changes.

Hailey

3/20/2022 02:33:33 pm

As of late, I have been feeling a greater sense of sadness toward the future than the happiness and excitement I felt merely months ago. The realization that, after this upcoming summer, my life as I know it will cease to exist. I will no longer be able to go to my weekly family dinners at my grandparents house, which is a brief two minutes away from my own home. I will no longer get to roll my eyes when my mom asks me to pick up my little brother after practice; a drive home that always turns into blasting music and laughing about some cheesy joke. I will no longer get to visit with the old people at my church every Sunday afternoon, or yell at the TV screen with my family while we watch sports. The relationships I hold most closely will be forced to adjust to distance, and that thought seems to weigh heavy on my mind currently. I have found myself grieving these moments while I am still living them, rather than appreciating them as I should.
On the flip side, I have begun valuing the people and things in my life more significantly than before. I have had more meaningful conversations in the past two months than I have had in years prior. I am able to evaluate the people in my life and have assurance that, despite changing circumstances, my relationships with those individuals will not be lost. All of this has created a great sense of gratitude for and fondness of others that I did not previously possess.

Micah Tolman

3/20/2022 03:26:57 pm

Especially right now, I am reflecting on when my older brother moved out of the house. I wonder if you feel the same having your brother gone. It is wonderful to ponder on the potential of the future and the effects our actions will have, yet it can be scary for some because they may not feel prepared.

Robyn Chaffin

3/20/2022 04:39:03 pm

I am currently mad and frustrated with myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not the most organized person in the world, but I have been good at getting jobs, chores, assignments and anything else done on time. Lately I have been slacking immensely. I have missing assignments, late assignments and I’ve been pushing too many things to last minute. There are definitely some classes where due dates are malleable, but I have just let everything go to last minute. I’ve gotten lazy and it irritates me. What irritates me even more is that it is so hard for me to pull myself out of this slump. I want to turn things in and get things done but part of me just isn’t working that way. I can’t tell if senoritis is part of the problem or if this is my body’s type of seasonal depression. I just want to get ahead and stop being behind. On a positive note, I cleaned my room for the first time in months. My room was a pigsty and I finally made myself sit down and clean everything. Along with deep cleaning my car and my mom’s car. Hopefully cleaning up the place I live in will help my clean up the rest of my problems.

Adyson

3/20/2022 05:49:30 pm

I know exactly what you mean about feeling lazy and hating it. I too have slacked on many papers or life plans and it makes me so irritated at myself because I didn’t use to do that.

Adyson

3/20/2022 05:47:54 pm

I don’t even know where to start. Sometimes I don’t understand how we can prepare ourselves for something and yet still fail for the task at hand. I have felt like my brain keeps going on vacation when I need it the most. I forgot to do scholarships, my homework, my chores, etc. I know that I’m probably being hard on myself but it makes me feel completely worthless for the time being. On top of all this I’m stressed to be leaving for college this summer and have no clue how I’m going to handle being alone for the first time. Everyone said that after senior project was over that I would feel a wave of relief and happiness, but I have yet to feel anything than stress and fear for the future.

Kendra

3/20/2022 06:24:53 pm

I definitely agree with the senior project thing. It’s crazy how much we have to plan for the near future. Some struggles are financial and some are just anxiety.

Ele

3/20/2022 06:51:15 pm

I agree with all of that! I thought it would be a lot less stressful after a senior project, but ever since senior project was over I have found so much more to stress about due to us being close to graduation. I am constantly stressing about financial situations, college, scholarships, grades, work, family time, and extracurriculars.

Jonah

3/20/2022 06:13:38 pm

I have been thinking about what to write on this Pacebook for a few days now. I appreciate the different approach here, Boaz.

To be honest, these past few months, I have been pretty disappointed in myself. I’ve been doing a lot of self-introspection, and just taking some time by myself to reflect, thinking about what I need to be doing better. Unfortunately, that seems to be a lot of things. I want to say that I have grown a lot mentally from this period of contemplation, but it’s hard to tell. I still have so much to work on. Some things I have been trying to change for years. There are a lot of unknowns, and there always will be. I spend a lot of time surrounded by some pretty good people, who make me want to be better. This makes me want to be better, too, but people always say not to “compare yourself to others” but it seems to be easier said than done. There has to be a line somewhere between comparing yourself to others, becoming disappointed, and spending too much time on yourself, leading to pride? Oh well. For now, I will continue working on myself.

Ele

3/20/2022 06:48:37 pm

I have been also reflecting bag on myself and my priorities, and I am very frustrated with myself. At the beginning of this year I had a whole list and idea of what I would be doing and all the steps to get there. I thought it would be a lot easier to do. At the time I thought they were very realistic steps and goals, yet I have realized that I have failed at many of them. I thought I would have a lot more time and not be as drained mentally or physically. Yet, everyday is a constant drag. Through these experiences I realized that even if I have let myself down I just need to work to be better and do what I can.

Boaz

3/20/2022 07:48:53 pm

The future is made more of Todays than it is Tomorrows. This is a phrase that came to me in a time that I really needed it. It’s freaking hard I know. But focusing on what we do today is the best thing we can do

Erik

3/20/2022 07:51:20 pm

I need to work on that also, thanks for the insight

Kendra

3/20/2022 06:20:06 pm

Everybody tends to tell the seniors that after senior project, the rest of the year is a breeze. Let me be the first to say that it is NOT. Now that senior project is over, life is becoming real. I have applied for scholarship after scholarship and I’m not even sure if I will get any that I applied for. I stress about how much I will be able to afford. I stress about leaving my family and being out on my own. But ultimately, I stress about the things that I will miss out on. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and just think about all the things I have to get done or all my future things that is uncertain. I just try to smile and pretend nothing is wrong, but I think we are all struggling in our own ways.

Carson Mildon

3/20/2022 06:32:19 pm

It is a crazy thing to think about that in a few months we will go from the comfort of our parent's watch to essentially all on our own. This change will be different for everybody but I'm sure most all of us will feel the same emotions. Many seniors already feel overwhelmed just thinking about it.

Nathan

3/20/2022 07:24:05 pm

I agree, I think a lot about the things I could have, or wished I would have done differently, sometimes it is hard to let go and make peace of the bad decisions we made in the past.

Janessa

3/20/2022 07:26:46 pm

I’ve also been trying to be optimistic about things, but this has lead to me pretending that things are fine when they aren’t. It’s helpful to know that everyone else is feeling the same stress that I am.

Carson Mildon

3/20/2022 06:29:45 pm

The end of the school year is always stressful for students. However, I feel a lot more overwhelmed this year than I have in past years. Being responsible for senior sneak, senior sober, graduation, and other events is very stressful. Do not get me wrong, I am very excited to graduate and move on with my life, but at this time, it feels like there is still a lot of work to be done before I can do that, but I know it will all move fast. Recently, all of this stuff has been on my mind, and I have been looking towards the future with a scary but optimistic view.

Hailey

3/20/2022 07:59:42 pm

Our class meeting last week brought to light a lot of the things that need to be finalized before graduation can take place. I feel as though that was an eye opener for many individuals in our class, especially those that have not been concerned with class affairs this year or the three years of high school prior.

Ele

3/20/2022 06:41:28 pm

I have constantly been pondering about lots of things recently. About future life decisions and past actions I have beheld. I have been thinking about all the things I could be doing and preparing for but I know that I need to take the time that I have right now and live in the moment. Yet, that is hard to do with all of the homework, scholarships, applications, and extracurricular activities. While also taking part of this I have also been thinking about how my life is going to change within the next year. I am so excited but also fearful of what is going to change and also to get out of Salmon. I have definitely realized how much everyday is looking the same. The biggest stress that is constantly on my mind is that every decision I am making right now is the start of how the rest of my life is going to look and that holds a lot of responsibility and power. I just hope I’m not stressing so much that I am looking past what is happening right now.

Nathan

3/20/2022 07:21:57 pm

I have also been thinking about this. I am constantly stressing about things in the future so it make it really difficult to enjoy the moment when I am worried about so many other things.

Janessa

3/20/2022 07:28:22 pm

There has to be a fine balance between evaluating and learning from the past, enjoying the present, and preparing for the future. It seems nearly impossible to do all three things at once, though each is equally important.

Nathan

3/20/2022 07:20:09 pm

I have been thinking a lot lately about my future. I have decided to serve a mission. This is a big commitment and have been struggling with weather or not I am ready for it. Deep down I know that I am ready, but I still can’t shake the nervousness and anxiety I feel. I wonder if I will make a difference in peoples lives and if my beliefs are strong enough stand as a witness of god in all things. My friends and family however, have helped me through out my whole life to give me confidence. This situation is no different.

Erik

3/20/2022 07:49:49 pm

Tons of future to plan for but it’ll be good

Janessa

3/20/2022 07:24:05 pm

Thank you for this post Boaz. Reading everyone’s comments has made me realize that they are in the same boat as I am. Knowing that everyone is just as severely stressed as I am sure doesn’t solve my stress, but it helps me rationalize that I have realistic cause for it. Personally, I’ve been feeling that most everything in my life is coming to an end. The play very recently closed, and I am only now feeling the weight of it. I know most of my friendships here will become distant, which especially frightens me because I am terrible at meeting new people. I’ll be leaving the house that I grew up in, and my room that has been my safe haven from the world. My fear of the unknown has been the biggest thing occupying my thoughts.

Spring has always been my least favorite season because it brings change. I always dreaded when the weather started getting warmer, because it meant I would have to let things go (besides just my winter clothing). But this year, surprisingly, I have been enjoying spring. I’ve let myself embrace the change instead of fight against it. I’ve found that accepting things for the way they are has been hard, but it has also been easier.

Boaz

3/20/2022 07:46:21 pm

Safe havens always come. I’ve been a lot of places and I’ve always found some place or some people. If you don’t fine people than people will find you. Let them in. It has been kind of special to me reading everyone’s post this week too

Jonah

3/20/2022 10:53:29 pm

I appreciated your words before our final show about “wherever you go, whatever you do, just be kind.” I have enjoyed reading these comments as well, knowing that each of us are kind of silently bearing similar burdens eases them just that little bit I guess.

Erik

3/20/2022 07:49:17 pm

Something I’ve been dealing with in my life recently is being unmotivated. I have felt like I’m just waiting to graduate since senior project finished. That feeling of being stuck has lead me to not want to work as hard because it feels like it’s getting me nowhere. I should still stay motivated and keep working because there is still another quarter. On the other hand I am motivated and looking forward to what is beyond high school such as college or a mission.

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